Thoughts of a Sprite

Sunday, July 04, 2004

Lonesome

I decided to stop dating over seven months ago. This was due to a strenuous work/ school schedule, and an imposing knee surgery. Well, that semester has ended, work is back to normal, and I am over my knee surgery, so I have no more excuses. And although I am content being single, I am also lonesome. I miss certian things about being in a relationship. Communication, trust, companionship... sex... I miss having someone to back me up, and being able to return the favor. I miss being held at night. I miss the kisses for no good reason. I miss working on a car together. I do not miss him, I miss the idea of him.

I look back, and I realize that I have felt this way for more than four long years. I have had many relationships since then, but all have been empty. I don't even give them a chance to get close. I will find any reason to throw them back... It is time to move on. I have got to let go. I cannot let his ghost rule my life any longer. I am not going to go jumping into anything, but I am not going to shut men out anymore. I am sure that if "he" walked back into my life, I would stick with my decision to leave. I made the right choice so why can't I let go??? Well, here goes.

shes_a_sprite @ 7:54 PM.

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